I wanted to get this out at my usual time, buuuuuut thesising and family/fun-time prevailed. I am on deadline after all. Which doesn’t really justify why I’m writing this then… But, eh, just roll with it. I needed a break. From writing… with more writing. Yay, writing! Speaking of which…
As I am thesising and moving toward graduation–now less than a month away–I am also applying for jobs. And internships. And really any sort of employment opportunity that can get me that much closer to my dreams. What are those exactly? Whelp, if you’ve read my past blog posts pertaining to this subject, I seem to already have an idea. Or do I?
Nah, just kidding–I do. But a recent realization has somewhat challenged that idea.
To recap: I’d really love to write and to help people in whatever it is I end up doing–ideally with a nonprofit organization. Seems simple enough. Only how I envisioned using my writing skills in this realm may not align with God’s Plan for me…
Up until about a week ago I thought the communications sector (e.g. writing, graphic design, social media, audio-visual, etc.) was the route I would be taking. All my education and experience up to now has pretty much led me to this conclusion. And that’s perfectly great! I still get to write while remaining relatively versatile and still expressing my fictional organization’s mission.
But on a recent interview with an uh-MAZING nonprofit organization (like, seriously, you guys, I cannot even portray how awesome this organization is–funny enough, it is located very close to my university and I only just found out about it during my last semester. Anyway…) for an, ahem, unpaid internship position, my interviewer mentioned a grant writing job with the organization was to open up in the coming months. That got my attention pretty quickly, 1) Because it was a job, and, more importantly (to me), 2) It was a job that merged my two career ambitions. Plus, it would involve working for an organization with which I fell in love within the first few minutes of walking around the premises. And while all of these factors are great, don’t get me wrong, they aren’t exactly why I’m thinking I need to shift my career focus from general communications to grant writing (though they do play a role).
Now, hear me out: I don’t think general communications are out of the question, but this mentioning of grant writing hit me hard, hit me differently than it has in the past before. To the point where I can’t help but wonder if maybe that is what I’m ultimately supposed to be doing with my life (or maybe just for now), maybe this is what God wants for me. He hasn’t exactly explicitly told me. I haven’t felt it in my heart. But I have been praying about a sense of direction recently. A lot. And, the thing is, this isn’t the first time the prospect of grant writing has come up.
All throughout college, I have had numerous professors and classmates and potential employers encourage my pursuing a career in grant writing. It all involves writing and research and persuasion by way of emotion (pathos) and rationality (logos)–all things at which I’m fairly talented, if I do say so myself. And, best of all, I would be helping people: both those of the organization but also those who benefit from the organization. However, when this suggestion of grant writing has come up in the past, I haven’t always been the most receptive to the idea. I don’t exactly know why–I think I was a little too focused on what I thought I wanted at the start of my collegiate career, and not as welcome to alternate paths.
Well, I’m more welcoming now. Especially since I’ve actually looked more into grant writing as a career, actually uncovering all it entails instead of merely making assumptions based on its title. I mean it’s a lot like being a student: researching, writing extensive papers, using persuasion–all to meet a deadline. Only, instead of grades, your success is measured by receiving the grant for which you apply… or not. So, the repercussions are a bit more extreme. Yay, the pressure.
I don’t know if I truly am meant to do this, if this is what God wants for me. I haven’t felt it in my heart yet, and that seems to be a big deciding factor for me. But if all these people in my life are directing me toward this path, including as of late when I have been praying about direction… I can’t help but wonder… And I guess if I’m wrong, if I am just using my communication-savvy, over-analytical (sometimes) mind to read too far into this, then so be it. But at the very least, this has proved professionally enlightening.
So there’s that! Hope you’ve been having a less confusing time in life, than I, Friends. But if you have, I feel your struggle. You know, to some extent.
Have a blessed week, Friends!