I read somewhere once that we’re prone to be attracted to people who possess traits we’d like to see in ourselves. Not exactly the old-age “opposites attract” mantra, but I think the Missing Traits Idea brings some truth to this. That is if you’re a lazy individual who’s drawn to someone ambitious, an athlete who builds a connection with a musical protege, etc., it likely depends on the trait. And if it happens to contradict one of yours, then… I guess “opposites attract”. But I don’t think this idea was talking about attraction like romance, but the literal attraction–drawn towards. We are drawn towards people who appear to be like those we strive to be like.
Maybe this seems like a no-brainer, but I remember thinking when I first read about this theory it was pretty groundbreaking. And then I got to thinking about the people I admire and what I like about them, why I’m drawn towards them. And while I’m not going to go so far as to say I absolutely don’t possess these traits, I just don’t see them in me–not to the extent I want. And that’s okay! Maybe that’s why we have those we admire in our lives. To admire. To be like. To serve as tangible reminders that we are striving towards improvement. Even if it takes our entire life to get there.
The sad thing is we don’t often tell the people we admire that we admire them and why. And maybe some of them we can’t, because they’re no longer in our lives or maybe they were never part of our lives and just admired from afar. I don’t know. But I do know that those that can be told should be. But that’s subject for debate, I’m sure.
I don’t always tell those I admire that I do, or why (words are hard for this English major, if spoken–I do better with writing… I think), so when I do, I really hope they recognize the genuity (I know) in the revelation.
Maybe this post sparked some thought in you. Maybe it got you thinking about the people in your life you admire. Maybe even to tell them. I don’t know. Even if not, I hope you learned something. Regardless, I want to leave you with one final thought for the day/night/whenever you’re reading this:
You are admired by others, too, for traits you may not even know about or see in yourself. And maybe they, too, just haven’t thought to tell you yet. Remember that.
Have an admirable week, Friends! 🙂