I’ve been told I should be a lawyer.
It’s not as big of a jump as you think, since I do study English. But this isn’t really a profession I’ve easily (or, ever) envisioned myself in; the amount of stress that would job would give me would likely exceed what college has given me in under four years in just a few months. No thanks. Suffice to say I was rather taken aback when my professor made the above encouragement. What’s the reason behind this suggestion?
“You’re always making a case for something,” they said.
Well. They aren’t wrong.
Whenever I share my opinion with others, whether I know them well or not, I feel the need to justify that opinion. I want others to understand my thought process, to at least gain an idea of how I arrived at the conclusion I did, before they judge my thoughts. Then if others do judge me, I’m at least convinced I’ve done what I can to show my perspective.
Unfortunately, my method doesn’t always translate well and I appear defensive, as made clear by my professor and dozens of others. I attribute this to my childhood years. You know the story: confident in views, get shot down, become bitter externally when really just trying to be protective. Yeah, that’s me. I’m just trying to save myself from the harsh critics, you guys! Oh look, there’s my defensiveness right there.
No, but seriously I’m like a hybrid of Jane and Lizzie Bennet of “The Lizzie Bennet Diaries” which if you haven’t watched yet you need to stop reading this right now and go watch this YouTube series! I’ve even provided a link to the first video:
Right, hybrid personality. I’m like Jane on a regular basis, but when others jab at me or I fear others will jab at me, out comes that biting Lizzie wit. I consider it a blessing. Until others (like my professor) make it feel like more of a curse. So in response do I work to improve the ways I deliver my opinions and reasoning? Nope! I just keep on keeping on…
And so should you! Especially if you have blessing-curse traits you struggle to manage. Speaking of which, share yours–I’d love to hear ’em.
This rant was a little less organized than usual… Sorry about that, Friends.